We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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