I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
