No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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