Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
