am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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