did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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