im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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