Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
