don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
