Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
