apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
