i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm like, not good at living.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
