I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
