week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
