you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
