OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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