just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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