Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
