I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We were destined to go to rehab together
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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