so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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