At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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