Rock
Scissors
Fuck
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
