Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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