do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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