You really coming over, don't trick.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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