it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
