Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
