But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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