This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
