I must be too annoying 4 u.
look no pants
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
