I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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