Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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