Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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