I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
