dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
