Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
His nipple licking is glorious
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