so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
