Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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