if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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