I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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