Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm always down for nudity.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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