So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
