I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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