please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
