Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
