Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
