okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
