I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
my liver is dry heaving
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
