She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
