people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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