When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Houston, we have a blender
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
