If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
